Review: From Hell

From Hell by Alan Moore
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

To be upfront, I'm not even that big of a fan of Alan Moore. 'Fan' implies that their love of the art/artist allows someone to overlook its flaws as to not forsake their enjoyment. For example, a 'Star Wars Fan' overlooks the fact that it's ultimately a film franchise that hasn't produced a good movie since 1980. While I consider Moore to be an insanely talented writer, there is a worship of him that is completely unwarranted. He is not a god. He's a demigod at best.

That being said, "From Hell" might be his best full graphic work. "Watchmen" will always be his most culturally significant work, but, to be honest, I've always been a dissenter when it comes to its accolades as the "greatest comic book ever". "From Hell" is more about a flawed humanity than flawed heroes and the driving plot doesn't force the book to contradict itself. I just feel Moore is at his best here, if anything else, at least on the technical level.

Even though the details of the plot are very much fiction, it incorporates several facts about the White Chapel murders. The particulars around Leather Apron being the most important. Technically meaning this story is a half-truth, making it that much more convincing. Though I wouldn't use this book as a reference if you're doing a paper on the subject.

I had mixed feelings about the art. It comes off as rough and inconsistent when you're first introduced to it. However, over time, it grew on me and I realized there was no other style better than what is used. The shifts from blobs of shade to well-flushed out faces are gradual and are used to great effect. Also, the nine-panel page format is the best and most natural way to tell a story in graphic novel form. You can fight me on that if you wish, but you'll lose.

If you're at least in your thirties (this book might be too much if you're any younger than that), you should already be reading this book. It's a great insight into one of the most gruesome stories of the western world. Its theory into the identity of Jack the Ripper is too complex to be true, but it's definitely the most interesting take you'll ever come across.

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Review: The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America's Shining Women

The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America's Shining Women by Kate Moore
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I honestly wanted to like this book. It's been on a to-read list for a while and on my mind whenever I was picking what to read next. I finally got around to it and now I wonder what made me want to read it in the first place. It was definitely sold based on its context rather than its content. I can't think of another explanation.

Bottom line, this book just isn't well written. Almost in every aspect of the term. In the ways of prose, it just isn't creative. And, every time it does try to be, it fails to ascend beyond the rudimentary. Intellectually, it lacks in a way that feels like an insult considering the subject. The book is 100% what is going on and has no interest or ability to explain the hows and whys.  Both in terms of social dichotomy and the science involved. Even on a technical level, it seems to lack in grammar and sentence structure. It'll succeed in a spell check with Microsoft Word, but that doesn't mean the writing succeeds beyond a juvenile manner. There are just too many ways to point out how this book isn't good.

There is a point where the book says "These are pieces of my jawbone. I pulled them from my jaw." (Sorry if this isn't a 100% perfect quote, but I didn't feel like looking it up.) I just remember this because I had to put down the book and rub my temples for five minutes. I mean, where else would you pull pieces of your jawbone from? Your elbow? It's just a key example of how poor the writing is. Sorry for the rant. It's been on my mind since I read it and, if I didn't write about it, it would turn into a brain tumor and kill me.

While I wanted to like this book, I still didn't hate it by its end. If someone asks me if I would recommend it, it would a profound 'hell no'. It isn't bad in a sense I felt it was a gross adaptation of the art, rather that the narrative needed a complete rewrite. The perspective and focus on certain details detract from any emotional impact and might have been served better by a character throughline and/or a strong POV. Rather than the foggy overview, this book ended up being. It's not the story I disliked as much as how it was written. If that makes any damn sense. 

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Review: Finder

Finder by Suzanne Palmer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I don't even feel like doing a full review of this book. It isn't bad. If it was bad I could get mad at it. In fact, it's worse than bad. It's dull, uninspired, stale, and insipid to the point I want to get out the thesaurus to find even more words for uninteresting. It's competently written in the sense that everything is spelled correctly, its grammar gets an A+, and you know what is going on at all times. But writing is more than just stringing a bunch of words together. There's a missing humanity to this book that you would get even from a badly remembered acid flashback. This book checks all the boxes for structure, character definition, and a host of other things that I harp on other books for not doing as well. However, even though it does all those other things right, it fails at the most important aspect of any book. This isn't a story worth telling.

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Review: Upgrade Soul

Upgrade Soul by Ezra Claytan Daniels
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book might be the most worthwhile read I've ever come across. It hits just shy of being on any favorite lists, but its depth and design smash all of my art nerd buttons. I'll, of course, go more in-depth in a minute, but I want to just say that anyone who is even remotely interested in comics, or literature in general, should check it out. Whether or not you actually like it will depend on you as a person, but there is no doubt in my mind that everyone should at least read it.

First things first, you need to go into this thing cold. I won't waste your time with a plot summary and you shouldn't waste your time reading any. The book is so firmly built around keeping you in the dark that you probably will hate most of it if you already know what's going on. In fact, you should stop reading this review, read "Upgrade Soul", and then come back and read my thoughts.

An issue some might have is that it can be a little hard to follow. The story isn't told linearly and there aren't any ques beyond visual changes in the characters. Normally, bouncing around bugs the shit out me, but that is because it is typically done by the incompetent. But here, every turn is done for a particular purpose as we dive deeper into a character. The bad news is that this structure forces you to pay any extra bit of attention. The good news is that this book earns that attention.

The art serves the book well. The style perfectly fits the story and themes thereof. If it's a turn off for you then you probably won't enjoy the book as a whole regardless. The frames and flow are also well designed so it properly deliveries the intended emotional impact. I didn't encounter a single panel where I thought the art wasn't purposeful or underdeveloped. Just good art all around.

There is a deeper meaning to this book about examining someone as their true self. Coming to terms with who and what you really are if your body was no longer a confinement and you shed every social norm. This deeper layer might mean different things to different people. That's kind of how deeper layers work. But it should profoundly touch you as long as you open yourself up just enough to let it.

Just read the fucking book already.

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Review: The Ten Thousand Doors of January

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Almost good. I think that best sums it up. There's a strong voice with excellent prose and interesting characters, but there's just a lacking in structure and plot that brings it down. I think the best way to describe my issue with it is that there is a very strong sense of being in the moment, but very little sense of what is actually going on in a meta sort of way. There isn't a strong threat or thread that ties everything together. The main character travels from world to world with little reasoning and much of the actual plot seems to just happen to her. Excellent colorful writing but no through-line. Like it keeps walking through a door into another world and forgetting why it came in here in the first place.

Also, much of the book is written like a narrative memoir. Something I still haven't decided is good or bad. The book-within-a-book structure is charming for about a hundred pages before it gets annoying. Both aspects might be more appealing to another reader, but it mostly didn't click for me after a while. I knew there was a problem when I started to feel like I was reading a lengthy novel when it is, in fact, rather short.

If you like books that are almost good, then you'll probably have a great time. There's a lot to like here and I look forward to reading more from Harrow if some of the structural problems are realized and worked on. In fact, I fully recommend you check this novel out. Just because I didn't connect with it, because I have a heart of dark slug, doesn't mean you won't.

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Review: The Dragon Republic

The Dragon Republic by R.F. Kuang
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The first book in this series, "The Poppy War", was my favorite book of 2019. Granted it was a lackluster year, but that still doesn't change the fact I was amazed by it. Now the sequel, "The Dragon Republic", is here to allow me the chance to be fully disappointed by it. So, did it? Review spoiler, it did not. I wouldn't go out of my way to say it's better or worse than the first, mostly because it's really just more of the same. Which, for once, is a very good thing.

The good news is that the same well-written characters and prose are still here. Kuang has an extremely strong voice and it flows easily into every word she writes. The book isn't only entertaining, but rich in both characters and plot. Not only satisfying but good for you too. Also, as a sequel, it jumps right into the heart of the story without having to spend a lot of time in school. Teaching us valuable lessons in character introduction.

I do have issues, but they are small and didn't detract terribly from my experience. My biggest issue is some of the pacing. There's a spot about two-thirds of the way in that lingers too long. It's important but should have been trimmed down for the sake of flow. It also hangs around after the story is over to set up the next book. Ninety percent of the story is firmly contained within the bounds of the text, but the last couple of chapters should have been saved for the third novel. It's not a cliffhanger per se, but it colors outside the lines of what the novel should be for the sake of being a tease and ending on a more dramatic note.

There also aren't any new characters to enjoy. There are actual new characters of course, but they are merely there because the shifting plot demands it. Making them more important to the plot rather than to the story. If that makes sense.

There's one last thing, and this might be a deal-breaker for some readers. Rin, our main heroin (get it?), isn't a likable character. And I don't mean in an antihero person-you-love-to-hate kind of way. She's rash, rude, disrespects everyone, easily falls into traps, a drug addict, and will kill tons of innocent people for simple revenge. The book is even aware of this as it readily admits her faults as side characters call her things like 'impulsive'. Here's the thing though, I still love the shit out of her. I don't know if its the breaking of the mold or refusing to abide by certain character rules, but I still love reading about Rin despite everything. It just might not be for everyone.

I loved the first book in this series, and the sequel lives up to its promise. If you liked "The Poppy War", I don't see why you can't also like its follow up. Not a perfect book. But, besides Dune, what is?

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Review: The Lady of the Lake

The Lady of the Lake by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

All I have are general thoughts. After reading two collections of short stories and five novels, it's difficult to separate my thoughts into a focused attempt to review this book. Every reviewed sentence is in someway a generalization on the series itself instead of a singular critique. But I'll do the best I can.

"The Lady of the Lake" is a good end to a decent book series. As with the other novels, the prose and characters are colorful and well defined, but it has serious structural problems. As an example, Geralt spends the first half of the novel on vacation. Undermining any sense of progression and serves more as colorful filler than anything else. The book is then sectioned by a fabulous, exceeding long, chapter that contains ninety percent of the plot progression for the entire book series. Then is concluded by actions with no real build-up and the resolution feels non sequitur. Like I said, structure problems.

Overall the Witcher series has a healthy dose of influences that range from fairy tales to Norse mythology but has enough original ideas to keep it from feeling like a ripoff. The writing is good but can feel a little full of itself. With enough edits to reduce the filler and wandering around, this could have easily been a far more satisfying trilogy. It wasn't so much that I felt like the author was wasting my time, more so that I felt like he was wasting the time of the characters.

One last thing. Like many, I became involved with this universe through the video game series. The world and characters dragged me in over a decade ago and I haven't been able to leave since. I read the book merely to bring myself fully involved in the universe. Here's the thing, and it might inflame some people, the writing in the games is better. The dialogue is punchy and consistently clever. It takes the world-building and characters of the novels and crafts a far more engaging story. It even resolves some of the more loose plot threads of the books with better ideas. An argument can be made that the games are serviced by a more visual media, but I don't think that's the case. I think they just took a dim jewel, added some talented polish, and made it shine.

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The Nothing

I'm just going to assume anyone reading my blog has read the one from the month before. The good news is that I have selected an editor to help polish my book. The bad news is that it'll probably have to wait until after I sell the house. I haven't reached out for a quote just yet, but it'll probably cost me three to four thousand dollars. As long as my budget is stretched across two houses, I haven't been able to save any real amount of money. So if anyone wants to drop the money in my lap, feel free to do so.

I'm still slowly going through the edit of Colony Earth. The changes I'm making are minor, but it's letting me get familiar once again with my characters. There's an upcoming chapter that will require larger changes, but I haven't crossed that bridge just yet.

I know no one reads my book reviews, but I did finish the Witcher series. The review for the final book and overall thoughts are coming soon.

That's pretty much it. I keep meaning to schedule some time for my bad poetry, but something keeps coming up. Like video games.

Until next time, and at all times, be kind.

Review: Metro 2033

Metro 2033 by Dmitry Glukhovsky
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Metro 2033 feels more like a tour than a story. A well-realized world that is equally well written, but lacks certain quantities. The previous statement being what is good about the novel, but I'm also about to break down what issues it has in much further detail. Because me.

I noticed, pretty much in the beginning, that there was a lack of overarching plot. Sure, there is the threat of the 'Dark Ones', but the foil to a plot isn't the same as a plot. Our main character, Artyom, just kind of goes from place to place getting into trouble while having no real goal. Imagine if Frodo and Sam left the Shire and had no ring to destroy. There would still be plenty of adventure and world-building, but little purpose behind it.

Then, by the end of the novel, I started to notice how Artyom isn't really a character. He has a little bit of back story, but no real personality to speak of. He is mostly just an observer thrown from dangerous scenario to scenario. Taking us on a tour of the Metro. Any traits he exhibits are just vague reactions to whatever is happening to him at that moment. I didn't dislike the character, but that was mostly because there wasn't anything to attach to.

I will say the characters Artyom meets are far more interesting. But they have the innate flaw of being a part of the world-building. A novel can't live off of secondary characters alone. They also all have a similar I've-been-down-here-too-long vibe. The religious nut character also rambles on for too long, but I suppose that's typical of zealots.

Good writing and great world-building. Sadly, there isn't much else to it. The book does a lot of things right by the end, but you can't wait for wrapping things up to exhibit things like plot and character. It's paced well enough that I enjoyed myself to the last page, but I probably not going to revisit the Metro any time soon.

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Do It Like Montresor

I've made a decision. It seems pretty insignificant considering everything that's been going on. You know, the world coming to an end. But, I feel it has to be done. And there's no talking me out of it either. It is like I've walked through a door, closed it behind me, and then bricked it up like Montresor. And, for the love of God, I don't even care if it blows up in my face.

I'm going to self-publish. I could go into a rant about the publishing industry but I would just sound like a jaded neckbeard. I've just come to my last breaking point with not being a published author. I know there's a good chance that only a hand full of people will read my book if I self-publish. And most of them will be my friends and family. But, fuck it, I have to try.

That's all I really have to say this month. I've been a daze for the last couple of months as Earth spirals down the uncaring universal drain. Just hoping there's a flipside of this. Humans, for all our faults, are crafty little shits. We'll probably be alright. 

All cynicism punctuated with vague optimism aside, the daze is why I've been silent the last couple of months. Still doing book reviews as I'm still reading. But it feels mostly out of habit and self-therapy than anything else. Step one to getting self-published is finding myself an editor to work with. It'll cost money and might take a few tries to find someone. Time and money always find a way to include themselves in any equation.

On the actual writing side of things, I've picked up my Colony Earth project again as I slowly comb over the tome. Just something to do as I wait for responses from the leads I'm chasing down. Once I finish editing and familiarizing myself with what I've already written, it'll finally be time to start new work. I've been trying to sell Variant War for so long hopefully I'll remember how it's done. Either way, it's been a long time coming.

 Until next time, and at all times, be kind.

Review: The Tower of the Swallow

The Tower of the Swallow by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Witcher series does a lot of things right and a lot of things wrong. I think this book highlights those traits more than any of the previous volumes. It has a talent for colorful characters and details to cue points of the story. This book in particular is told non-linearly, so those cues become extremely important. But it also bogs the reader down in other details that are nonsensical. There is a point in the story were Geralt meets an elven mage, Avallac'h. They discuss several things involving the surrounding lore of the plot that is very important. Avallac'h also drones on about elvish menstruation and how sex becomes boring after you live over a hundred years. The latter being unlikely.

The writing is just a mixed bag of interesting and not interesting. Ebbs and flows of some times an extreme nature. Being one of the latter books, it holds up better than some of the earlier texts. With the story maintaining more focus simply because it has to do so as it builds towards its conclusion. This volume's largest problem being that we don't see much of an evolution in the writing but instead just more of the story.

I would say the actual written prose are about average. The fight scenes are highly technical to the point you lose some of the emotional impact. The fight at the end though might be its most well written in the series. The dialogue has enough color in it to be interesting but the dives into lore and politics are mostly a matter of taste. Earlier reviews praise the characters and this one will be no exception. Particularly in this volume with Vilgefortz as he emerges as the series' chief villain.

I have been enjoying the books for the most part, it just drags in surprising spots. Maybe its a matter of translation or culture, but I can't help but feel this should have been in the hands of a better editor. A diamond doesn't shine as bright if it remains uncut.

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Review: How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems

How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems by Randall Munroe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The amount of energy it takes to power a heat pump capable of freezing the Kansas River at Topeka is 87 gigawatts. This little factoid stood out to me. One, because it's utterly ridiculous, but also because I think it fully encapsulates what you'll find in this book. Facts framed by the ludicrous. Trying to be smart and funny at the same time. Being successful 93.7% of the time.

Before reading this book, ask yourself one question: Am I a uber nerd? Your enjoyment of this book will largely revolve around the answer to that question. There are plenty of jokes and facts in this novel, but you'll only find it funny or useful if you have a slightly obscure taste. For shits and giggles, Earth's gravity is a downward acceleration at the speed of 9.807 m/s squared. Fun fact, but not particularly useful in day-to-day life unless your job is launching stuff into orbit. Thus your desire typically must be to know this kind of thing just for the sake of knowing it. The humor is also of a similar flair of ridiculous scenarios that are simply ridiculous just because it's funny that way.

There's a section of the book that compares the size of redwood trees to the Saturn 5 rocket. Then, pretty much organically, leads into a scenario of what would happen if you attached a couple of booster rockets to the side and tried to launch the tree into orbit. If this is your brand of humor, then this book should be at the top of your list.

Did I find it funny? Absofuckinglutely.

The writing is strong. Everything is put together nicely. Not terribly long or useful. By the end, you'll probably not learn "How To" do anything. But it's funny and interesting. A book that gets by almost entirely by charm and head of knowledge. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, even if all the facts I learned are pretty useless for an amateur critic.

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Review: A Memory Called Empire

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Bloated and boring. That's what I felt throughout reading this book. It is possible I just wasn't in the mood. Future people, just look at the date of when this review was posted and you'll understand if were awake in history class. Regardless, I didn't care much for Memory or its empire. I didn't 'hate' this book. Hating it would require that it made me feel something. Everything was just grey and drab. It felt as if someone tried to rewrite Dune but left out every nuance that made it a masterpiece.

When I don't care much for a book, it's normally because of bad pacing or nothing happens. This isn't the case. In fact, I would defend it by stating it has excellent pacing. I would even state it's a cool story with cool ideas. It's just told in an insanely boring way. The prose are uninspired and I would need a nuclear reactor to generate any kind of feeling for the characters. I kept squeezing this stone for some blood but got nothing out of it.

There are some books out there I would fault people if they liked it. You know who you are. But this isn't one of them. My opinion of this book is a weird mix of knowing it's far from garbage but also wanting to cut myself while reading it just to feel something. You might like it. Which is good, because we need something to like from time to time.

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Review: Baptism of Fire

Baptism of Fire by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Despite the title, there is very little baptizing and/or fire in this book. Not that I took the name literally, there was still little going on. I'm not even referring to action, but more to plot progression. It's far more walking around until they need to sit behind the bushes for an exposition dump. It's characters and world still manage to keep it afloat, but barely. If I wasn't already committed to completing the series, this one might have made me come to a stop.

I don't have much to say about it as the book didn't seem to have much to do. Mostly all I can do is give some examples. Like when Regis spends the first half of the last chapter going over, in great detail, how humans stereotype vampires. Even using terms like 'circadian rhythm' even though this is supposed to be a middle-ages fantasy book. There is also a meeting of sorceresses that discusses Ciri's family tree and why she is one of 'elder blood'. While going deeper into her lore was needed to some degree, most of it was world-building trans fat.

The interactions between Regis and Geralt were by far the best parts of the book. It's a cool idea, pitting Geralt against his resolve to slay monsters, but nothing really happens plot-wise because of it. Geralt just mopes around in a foul mood while side characters tell him to let it be. This is me literally summing up the best part of the novel.

I already made it this far into the series, so I might as well finish. There was a moment in the book that seems to be laying the groundwork for the last two books, but there was just too much nothingness to make me feel excited about it. The series has great lively characters but doesn't give them anything to do. Except for walking about and talk like its a TV show with a low budget.

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Review: Magician

Magician by Raymond E. Feist
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This one gets off to a slow start. Just want to get that out there. It's so trope and familiar that I was about to get out my fantasy novel bingo card. Then aliens invade and we meet a band of pirates. What starts off as a fairly conventional book subtly turns into a grand adventure. To be honest, I was just about to give up on the tome before I slowly started to like it. It might even be a good book to relax with on a beach if it's length wouldn't make you die of skin cancer.

The novel has strong detailed prose, likable characters, and a plot with just enough intrigue to keep you invested. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, he's about to point out what's wrong with it. And you'd be right. Magician, and the writing of Feist in general, just isn't very deep. It's well put together and everything, but don't expect to walk away with your life changed. The book is enjoyable and I dare say even made me content with the universe. Not everything has to make you think, it would just be nice if it did.

Side note for people who live on different sides of the Atlantic. In 'Merica, the book is split into two volumes while the limy side of the pond has the book kept whole. I read the complete version. Surely you're asking, can you read just one volume? Technically yes. The first book ends on a good spot to take a break but hardly leaves you with a sense of resolve. And the second book begins in a completely different place with a bit of a time skip but also ends on such a note that Feist could have died the day after completing it and everyone would have been fine with it. There's enough leftover for more books, and you should know at this point there are more, but you can read this complete tome and walk away happy.

As I said before, the book isn't very deep. So it prevents me from really going into detail about how I feel about it. There's just not a great deal to say about beyond it's enjoyable. Pretty much anyone can sit down with this book and find at least some contentment from its words. However, its gift is also its curse. Magician is non-threatening. It will never bite you with its ideas because it has no teeth.

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Review: The Time of Contempt

The Time of Contempt by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Normally I consider comparing two different books to be unfair. As if one piece of work can't be considered valid without another. However, in a series, it's hard not to. Nay, impossible even. Especially when a series continues to insists on being one long story split up into separate volumes. leaving me with the simple review that it's gradually better than the first one as the stakes increase.

The book begins with a fairly large exposition dump, which is never a good sign. It continues the same narrative from before of inconsistent pacing and seemingly random danger. However, the book gets much better in its second half as the war ramps up and things that matter actually happen. It still suffers from the main characters being told about what's happening, but the book does a better job of telling the reader this by giving us the perspective instead of a current affairs exposition dump.

The plot isn't strongly multi-layered, which might be good or bad depending on your preferences. The characters are strong and well-told, but they aren't really given anything to do beyond servicing the main plot. Even the main character, Geralt, straight up disappears when the plot doesn't need him. This can be good if you are just wanting a singular story without any subplots, but bad if you want a more well-rounded story with characters you can attach yourself to.

The book, as the others in the series, remains strong in its prose despite its structural problems. An entertaining fantasy series that doesn't spend twenty pages describing a sunset. The lore is also rather rich even though and this volume, in particular, draws more from creativity and not old fairy tales. I'm already in this far, so I might as well finish it.

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Review: This Is How You Lose the Time War

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'll try not to be negative over a book I actually enjoyed. There are issues to be had of course. Stylistic choices to be argued, a plot that needs to be flogged, and a length that is fully undeserved. I'll get to that. I know I'm saying this at the top, but the bottom line is that you might not enjoy this book. I hate saying 'it's not for me/you' because good is good no matter who in the hell it was meant for. But I just wanted to say, at the front, that this is my opinion and not yours. Your level of enjoyment is yours and yours alone. Otherwise, stay out it.

To get my joyful noises out of the way first, the prose is insanely good. It can be vague and batshit crazy at times, but that doesn't get in the way of it being good. I really felt for the two characters despite not knowing that much about them. It's the evolution of their interactions that sell the story. Everything else is just a framing device.

I went into this with the impression it was just going to be a series of letters back and forth between enemies. When I saw how short the book is, I felt it confirmed my preconception. To my surprise, there is prose in this book. I understand that writing a book strictly to that concept would have been a daunting task, but life's too short not to fully commit to crazy ideas. While the book is satisfying in its own right, I felt the end product could have been more expansive. There doesn't need to be fifty megatons of world-building like a tome of high fantasy. It's just that everything that happens outside the letters feels like background noise. It's there, but it doesn't matter.

The plot. There isn't one. Well, technically there is, but it's just there to create the reasoning and conflict. As with the theme of this review, the plot doesn't really matter. It's like when a cable repair guy shows up at the beginning of a porno. His ability to fix the cable, or even the state of the cable itself, isn't anyone's concern. It's just the reason why everyone is there. The real story is strictly between Red and Blue.

All that being said, I enjoyed this book. It's well written and non-traditional, which are two things that spark my pretentious flint. My points of critique simply come from an area of respecting art. While I always have venom for garbage and cookie-cut commercialization, I hold art under the strictest banner. And this book is definitely a work of art.

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Review: Herding Cats

Herding Cats by Sarah Andersen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

File this under 'mostly liked'. There wasn't anything in particular that was unlikable about this collection. In the following paragraphs, you're going to see me be pretentious as I nick pick, so don't read further down if a star rating is good enough for you. Just know that I like it, and you probably will too.

The comics in this collection are almost entirely light-hearted self-deprecating jabs at the writer/artist, Sarah. It's charming and even clever at times. The collection itself isn't thematic, but still has a recurring sense of making the same few jokes in different ways. Being an artist is hard, being on the internet is hard, being human is hard. Thankfully the collection seems to be just the right length and organized competently before the repetition becomes annoying. At this point, it's just noticeable.

The collection is also heavily front-ended by random art before there is a more detailed outline of what Sarah's life is like. The latter portion of the book creates a deeper sense of her and her process. It even can be a little inspiring. However, the downside is that the front ended randomness could have been helped with a similar treatment. It doesn't hurt the collection in any real way, it just feels like two different books glued together.

I like the art. It's style matches the tone and the level of detail ramps up when it needs to. Going into the book, I thought the art would be minimalist, but that isn't the case. Sarah has genuine talent and it shows through her application of it. It's good art without having to show off just for the sake of it.

There isn't much else to say. I've seen Sarah's art before, mostly used on Facebook pages that have no affiliation with her. While such a method can introduce to an artist, it doesn't help much if you don't follow it up with taking a deeper dive into her work. A collection such as this is a good way to do it.

My Life, The Fan

Well, it's all really hit the fan now, hasn't it? I could go into a detailed rant of what happens when the general public is poorly educated combined with the inherent failings of democracy, but I'll spare both of us. For those who care, the wife and I are doing well. We've canceled pretty much all our plans and only go out when we need to. Both being thankful because there are so many people who have it so much worse and we're doing what we can to pay it forward.

With everything that's happened in the past month alone, what has gone on with my writing seems almost petty. But it still happened and I'm going to talk about it. First off, the conference didn't really go as planned. The agent in question behaved as if she was interested, but didn't do much to follow up on it. Another dead end. To top things off, the event gave me a stomach bug that put me down for two days. It's bad enough that I get jerked around and my money taken, but it literally made me sick.
There are a number of things about the conference itself that I could comment on, but I'll reframe beyond broad outlines. Saying more would make me look vindictive and petty. And I'm not petty, just bitter.

In better news, I've once again joined a writing group. We're meeting via Zoom, like every meeting happening this month. The group seems to be doing well. Hopefully, it'll last and will be beneficial for all.

I've somewhat started working on Colony Earth again. Step one is to get reacquainted with it. I've set a daily task to work on a chapter. I've only done it twice this week, but I should do it more once I remember how much I enjoy writing. Once the twenty chapters that I've already written are edited and updated, I'll start working on new material. I'll keep trying to sell the first book, but I need something new under my belt before I go crazy.

Nothing else to report. I was going to say that I've been trying to keep busy, but that isn't true. It's not staying busy that's the problem, its staying committed. The beginning of March really took the wind out of me, and I've just started to get it back. Half of me wants to become a successful writer just so I can go down the list of people who didn't believe in me and taunt them. Okay, maybe I'm a little petty.

Until next time, and at all times, be kind.

Review: The Boys, Volume 1: The Name of the Game

The Boys, Volume 1: The Name of the Game by Garth Ennis
My rating: 3 of 5 stars



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Review: Blood of Elves

Blood of Elves by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars



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I'm with Stupid

I did something stupid. Well, maybe stupid isn't the right word. It was dumb, don't get me wrong, but that's isn't the worst thing about my decision. The worst part is how I seem to enjoy this punishment. I don't, but anyone on the outside looking in might think I do.

So, what I do? I signed up for another writer's conference. I always get my hopes up, always thinking I have a shot. Then, months later, realizing I wasted my time and money. The bruise to my ego and general self-esteem being the worst of it. And people wonder why I'm a pessimist.

This time, at least, I have a half-decent reason for signing up. At the end of January, I entered a contest. You submit the first page of your novel and an agent reviews all the entries. The winner gets a more detailed review of the first ten pages of your manuscript. Maybe more if she likes it. It's a potential foot in the door. At the time after entering, I didn't think much about it. Writing it off as another wasted minute of my time. Then, about halfway into February, I received an email that I had won. I had to read the email a few times to make sure I wasn't imagining things. I wasn't and quickly submitted those ten pages. It'll be April before I hear back about that. But, the agent in question is doing a conference on March 6th, and I'm going to introduce myself. It might ruin my chances. It might put me on track to get an agent. Mostly I'm just hoping I don't make an ass of myself.

I'll be sure to let everyone know how it goes.

In other news, I submitted my book to ten publishers. At the time of writing, four have already rejected it. The sad thing is that many publishers are too low brow even more me, being even worse than self-publishing. Maybe I should do an article on how to spot a bad indie publisher. Like if their book covers look like they were made by someone who failed a remedial photoshoot class, you should probably pass. The funniest being a company called "Freebird Publishers" that caters exclusively to prisons. And here I thought they were just big Lynyrd Skynyrd fans.

I also submitted it to Baen Books. They have an open policy as if anyone has a chance to overcome the slush pile. They said it will literally be a year before I hear back from them. Needless to say, I won't hold my breath.

I was hoping to submit to Tor because they have the same policy. The thing is that they want a longer version of what is usually a criminally short synopsis. So I'm re-writing that before I submit. And they want it by snail mail. Because fuck trees.

I was hoping to do my first scheduled short-form writing today. It didn't happen. Long story. I've been doing Skillshare videos every Wednesday evening, but I doubt I'll continue it. Maybe I'll move that writing period to Wednesday instead of putting it in the middle of what is usually a busy Sunday. We'll see.

That's pretty much it for now.

Until next time, and at all times, be kind.

Review: The Outsider

The Outsider by Stephen King
My rating: 3 of 5 stars



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Dear Bubba Rick's Publishing

We're in the endgame now. The house is officially on the market and the large portion of work that needs to be done to it is finished. Now I just need to sell the damn thing. New problems will take its place. I know this. At least that's what my anxiety tells me. For example, last night the dishwasher stopped working. The pleasures of being a homeowner I suppose. But, the sooner I tackle the problems behind me, the sooner I can tackle the problems in front of me.

Speaking of problems, rejection season is here. I've sent out thirty-seven query letters this month and have already received six form rejections that are almost word for word the same. I don't mind. I'm just naturally bitter. I've gone through the entirety of the agent section in the writer's market book. There are still agencies that have multiple agents that deal in science fiction, and several that are simply closed currently, so I still have plenty of querying to go. For now, at least, it's on to publishers who actually take un-agented manuscripts. Which aren't many, especially ones that are a step above self-publishing. Dear Bubba Rick's Publishing.

I have written into the short form notebook I purchased this month. It's mostly reworking some previously written work, but at least it's something. I should have a regular work schedule sometime this month. With the old house pretty much done outside cleaning out the garage, it's no longer taking up so much of my time. I'm currently thinking of a mid-afternoon break on Sunday with coffee and a snack. Coffee and food are the best motivators outside of whiskey.

Will I get any real writing done soon? I hope so. Querying is taking point at the moment, and that won't last forever. I'll give that until June before I start rethinking my plan for the first book. Self-publishing is looking better all the time. Once all the letters are sent out, I'll work on Colony Earth until summer arrives. At least that's the plan.

The wife and I have taken up dancing lessons. With her being Puerto Rican and me being Irish, it's like watching a ballerina dance with a golem. If you keep up with the book reviews, I've also been reading the Witcher book series. It's something I've been wanting to do for several years, but a mix of lack of time and most of them not being translated got in the way. So I'm finally getting that done. That's been more than enough to keep me busy, so I'll stop boring you for this month.

Until next time, and at all times, be kind.

Review: Sword of Destiny

Sword of Destiny by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Here's a game for you. Read "Sword of Destiny" and take a shot every time you see the actual word 'destiny'. It depends on the story, but there are a few that will literally kill you with its repetitious. There's a slight arch to the theme, but it's more of a light switch scenario. Where our hero believes a certain thing, and, by the end, has no choice but to accept the other side. It's not a bad story, but you might vaguely wonder if you've heard it before.

Like it's predecessor, "The Last Wish", this volume is a collection of short stories. However, there is a big difference in narrative focus as it turns towards a select group of characters, namely the relationship between Geralt and Yennefer, rather than the world at large. I suppose that being a pro or con depends on your position on characterization versus world-building. Personally, I like a good mix of the two, but Sapkowski seems to be slightly better at the latter rather than the former. Making the volume as a whole a mixed bag of middling quality.

If you want my advice, and you must if you're reading this, then read the first story "The Bounds of Reason", and then the last two stories of this book. The middle three don't serve much purpose beyond character interactions and can be numbing to the senses. "The Bounds of Reason" is a really good story set in the world and is the gem of the volume. The last two are mostly setup for the full-length novels that are to follow. To be honest, the volume's namesake "Sword of Destiny" spills out like an excessive exposition dump while most of the action of "Something More" happens out of Geralt's view and is told to him after the fact. They're required reading if you want to dive into the novels, but being required doesn't mean their good.

The writing isn't bad, in fact, most of the time it can be rather good. But, if Stephen King told you about his uneventful trip to the grocery store, it might be a fairly well-told story but it will still bore you to tears. The problem isn't the prose as much as it is the subject matter. Two of the stories are literally just Geralt dealing with shitty relationship problems. Chalking up his terrible taste in women to the pull of destiny.

Like I said, if you want to get into the novels, you have to read at least some of this book. Though, your mileage may vary. There honestly isn't anything here that couldn't be told in a good prologue. Also, once again, Triss doesn't show her face, which irked me in all the wrong places.

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Review: Transmetropolitan, Vol. 1: Back on the Street

Transmetropolitan, Vol. 1: Back on the Street by Warren Ellis
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

You ever watch the movie 'The Last of the Mohicans'? If I ever get asked that question, I always answer 'I tried'. The reason being is that I can never sit through it. I don't view it as a bad film. Far from it. The weird thing about it is that the movie itself seems right up my alley. Even if I dedicate the time and energy to watch it, I always end up giving up. I also don't hate it by any means. If I hated it, that at least would have been an emotion to latch onto. And I've hate-watched some really bad stuff all the way to the end.

The reason I bring this up is that I have the same reaction to pretty much everything Warren Ellis has ever written. When you examine and criticism a work of art, you need to be able to tell the difference between what is good and something you simply like. Because liking something is completely subjective. You can like fast food all you want, but it will never be quality food. I acknowledge that Warren Ellis is a good writer. I know this in my bones. But there is just something about his work that prevents it from clicking with me. And 'Transmetropolitan' is not an exception.

I think my problem, at least with this book in particular, is the narrative is all bluster. I understand anger. I'm always angry and all that. But there's a difference between anger and just wanting to piss all over everything. Our protagonist here seems to be far more of the latter. Some of the reasons to be mad are more than justified. Like in regards to police brutality and government corruption. Though, more often than not, the reasons seem petty and stem from a pathological need to be antisocial.

There also aren't any defined characters beyond our main dude. In the second story arc in this volume, there is a female character introduced, but even she is suspect as to if she really matters or not. There's just a vague rage against the machine vibe that most people grow out of by their mid-twenties. It's like if Batman declared war on crime, but he didn't fight anyone beyond random muggers. Sure, Batman is fighting crime, but what makes him so interesting is his antagonists. Otherwise, he's just beating up poor people.

The art fits the narrative. It looks like a higher-end story from Heavy Metal magazine but works in its own way. I don't have anything to say beyond that.

Despite my inability to engage with Warren Ellis, and my dislike of the main character, I actually fully recommend you read this book. It isn't bad by any stretch. And I'm sure many out there really like it. Just because I'm not one of them doesn't mean you won't be. If I thought it wasn't worth a try, I would say so. But, it is. You might not like it, but you might love the ever-living hell out of it.

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Review: The Last Wish

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Since context matters, I'll state that this is my third time reading this book. I read the first couple of books years ago (before it was cool) but the later books in the series had not been translated to English just yet. To, at least in part, stay ahead of the new TV series I decided to catch up and read all of the books. Since it had been a few years since the last go around, I also decided to start over. To refresh and see how well my memory serves me.

Pretty well, it turns out. I had little trouble remembering the various characters and plots of the various stories this book contains. I suppose it's a good sign that you can remember a book so well. A tribute to the writing I suppose. The characters are sharp, the stories are inventive, and the prose contains a strong dry wit to them. Some stories are better than others, but I won't call this collection a mixed bag. The variation of likeability is marginal and likely due to personal tastes.

"The Lesser Evil" I would have to list as my personal favorite.

The intersecting story "The Voice of Reason", serves the book well. While weak as an actual story, it operates as needed downtime between adventures. It maintains the process of creating a series of short stories but also threads them together to form something larger. Making it something better than a collection while not masking itself as a full-grown novel.

If I had to name one thing that annoyed me, because I have to, I didn't like how characters would name drop other characters we haven't met yet. Especially when there's no reason to call them out by name. As an example: Triss Merigold gets a mention in this book and she never even shows up. I know we're world building here, but the whole process feels inorganic.

As a general rule, a book that can stand up to multiple reads is a good book. Like if you can date someone more than once and not leave before paying the check, is probably someone you can form a relationship with. My pretentious side tells me that book series are evil. That a writer should be able to come up with more than one idea. But, as series go, this is starting off to be a good one.

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