Review: The Lady of the Lake

The Lady of the Lake by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

All I have are general thoughts. After reading two collections of short stories and five novels, it's difficult to separate my thoughts into a focused attempt to review this book. Every reviewed sentence is in someway a generalization on the series itself instead of a singular critique. But I'll do the best I can.

"The Lady of the Lake" is a good end to a decent book series. As with the other novels, the prose and characters are colorful and well defined, but it has serious structural problems. As an example, Geralt spends the first half of the novel on vacation. Undermining any sense of progression and serves more as colorful filler than anything else. The book is then sectioned by a fabulous, exceeding long, chapter that contains ninety percent of the plot progression for the entire book series. Then is concluded by actions with no real build-up and the resolution feels non sequitur. Like I said, structure problems.

Overall the Witcher series has a healthy dose of influences that range from fairy tales to Norse mythology but has enough original ideas to keep it from feeling like a ripoff. The writing is good but can feel a little full of itself. With enough edits to reduce the filler and wandering around, this could have easily been a far more satisfying trilogy. It wasn't so much that I felt like the author was wasting my time, more so that I felt like he was wasting the time of the characters.

One last thing. Like many, I became involved with this universe through the video game series. The world and characters dragged me in over a decade ago and I haven't been able to leave since. I read the book merely to bring myself fully involved in the universe. Here's the thing, and it might inflame some people, the writing in the games is better. The dialogue is punchy and consistently clever. It takes the world-building and characters of the novels and crafts a far more engaging story. It even resolves some of the more loose plot threads of the books with better ideas. An argument can be made that the games are serviced by a more visual media, but I don't think that's the case. I think they just took a dim jewel, added some talented polish, and made it shine.

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The Nothing

I'm just going to assume anyone reading my blog has read the one from the month before. The good news is that I have selected an editor to help polish my book. The bad news is that it'll probably have to wait until after I sell the house. I haven't reached out for a quote just yet, but it'll probably cost me three to four thousand dollars. As long as my budget is stretched across two houses, I haven't been able to save any real amount of money. So if anyone wants to drop the money in my lap, feel free to do so.

I'm still slowly going through the edit of Colony Earth. The changes I'm making are minor, but it's letting me get familiar once again with my characters. There's an upcoming chapter that will require larger changes, but I haven't crossed that bridge just yet.

I know no one reads my book reviews, but I did finish the Witcher series. The review for the final book and overall thoughts are coming soon.

That's pretty much it. I keep meaning to schedule some time for my bad poetry, but something keeps coming up. Like video games.

Until next time, and at all times, be kind.

Review: Metro 2033

Metro 2033 by Dmitry Glukhovsky
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Metro 2033 feels more like a tour than a story. A well-realized world that is equally well written, but lacks certain quantities. The previous statement being what is good about the novel, but I'm also about to break down what issues it has in much further detail. Because me.

I noticed, pretty much in the beginning, that there was a lack of overarching plot. Sure, there is the threat of the 'Dark Ones', but the foil to a plot isn't the same as a plot. Our main character, Artyom, just kind of goes from place to place getting into trouble while having no real goal. Imagine if Frodo and Sam left the Shire and had no ring to destroy. There would still be plenty of adventure and world-building, but little purpose behind it.

Then, by the end of the novel, I started to notice how Artyom isn't really a character. He has a little bit of back story, but no real personality to speak of. He is mostly just an observer thrown from dangerous scenario to scenario. Taking us on a tour of the Metro. Any traits he exhibits are just vague reactions to whatever is happening to him at that moment. I didn't dislike the character, but that was mostly because there wasn't anything to attach to.

I will say the characters Artyom meets are far more interesting. But they have the innate flaw of being a part of the world-building. A novel can't live off of secondary characters alone. They also all have a similar I've-been-down-here-too-long vibe. The religious nut character also rambles on for too long, but I suppose that's typical of zealots.

Good writing and great world-building. Sadly, there isn't much else to it. The book does a lot of things right by the end, but you can't wait for wrapping things up to exhibit things like plot and character. It's paced well enough that I enjoyed myself to the last page, but I probably not going to revisit the Metro any time soon.

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Do It Like Montresor

I've made a decision. It seems pretty insignificant considering everything that's been going on. You know, the world coming to an end. But, I feel it has to be done. And there's no talking me out of it either. It is like I've walked through a door, closed it behind me, and then bricked it up like Montresor. And, for the love of God, I don't even care if it blows up in my face.

I'm going to self-publish. I could go into a rant about the publishing industry but I would just sound like a jaded neckbeard. I've just come to my last breaking point with not being a published author. I know there's a good chance that only a hand full of people will read my book if I self-publish. And most of them will be my friends and family. But, fuck it, I have to try.

That's all I really have to say this month. I've been a daze for the last couple of months as Earth spirals down the uncaring universal drain. Just hoping there's a flipside of this. Humans, for all our faults, are crafty little shits. We'll probably be alright. 

All cynicism punctuated with vague optimism aside, the daze is why I've been silent the last couple of months. Still doing book reviews as I'm still reading. But it feels mostly out of habit and self-therapy than anything else. Step one to getting self-published is finding myself an editor to work with. It'll cost money and might take a few tries to find someone. Time and money always find a way to include themselves in any equation.

On the actual writing side of things, I've picked up my Colony Earth project again as I slowly comb over the tome. Just something to do as I wait for responses from the leads I'm chasing down. Once I finish editing and familiarizing myself with what I've already written, it'll finally be time to start new work. I've been trying to sell Variant War for so long hopefully I'll remember how it's done. Either way, it's been a long time coming.

 Until next time, and at all times, be kind.

Review: The Tower of the Swallow

The Tower of the Swallow by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Witcher series does a lot of things right and a lot of things wrong. I think this book highlights those traits more than any of the previous volumes. It has a talent for colorful characters and details to cue points of the story. This book in particular is told non-linearly, so those cues become extremely important. But it also bogs the reader down in other details that are nonsensical. There is a point in the story were Geralt meets an elven mage, Avallac'h. They discuss several things involving the surrounding lore of the plot that is very important. Avallac'h also drones on about elvish menstruation and how sex becomes boring after you live over a hundred years. The latter being unlikely.

The writing is just a mixed bag of interesting and not interesting. Ebbs and flows of some times an extreme nature. Being one of the latter books, it holds up better than some of the earlier texts. With the story maintaining more focus simply because it has to do so as it builds towards its conclusion. This volume's largest problem being that we don't see much of an evolution in the writing but instead just more of the story.

I would say the actual written prose are about average. The fight scenes are highly technical to the point you lose some of the emotional impact. The fight at the end though might be its most well written in the series. The dialogue has enough color in it to be interesting but the dives into lore and politics are mostly a matter of taste. Earlier reviews praise the characters and this one will be no exception. Particularly in this volume with Vilgefortz as he emerges as the series' chief villain.

I have been enjoying the books for the most part, it just drags in surprising spots. Maybe its a matter of translation or culture, but I can't help but feel this should have been in the hands of a better editor. A diamond doesn't shine as bright if it remains uncut.

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Review: How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems

How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems by Randall Munroe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The amount of energy it takes to power a heat pump capable of freezing the Kansas River at Topeka is 87 gigawatts. This little factoid stood out to me. One, because it's utterly ridiculous, but also because I think it fully encapsulates what you'll find in this book. Facts framed by the ludicrous. Trying to be smart and funny at the same time. Being successful 93.7% of the time.

Before reading this book, ask yourself one question: Am I a uber nerd? Your enjoyment of this book will largely revolve around the answer to that question. There are plenty of jokes and facts in this novel, but you'll only find it funny or useful if you have a slightly obscure taste. For shits and giggles, Earth's gravity is a downward acceleration at the speed of 9.807 m/s squared. Fun fact, but not particularly useful in day-to-day life unless your job is launching stuff into orbit. Thus your desire typically must be to know this kind of thing just for the sake of knowing it. The humor is also of a similar flair of ridiculous scenarios that are simply ridiculous just because it's funny that way.

There's a section of the book that compares the size of redwood trees to the Saturn 5 rocket. Then, pretty much organically, leads into a scenario of what would happen if you attached a couple of booster rockets to the side and tried to launch the tree into orbit. If this is your brand of humor, then this book should be at the top of your list.

Did I find it funny? Absofuckinglutely.

The writing is strong. Everything is put together nicely. Not terribly long or useful. By the end, you'll probably not learn "How To" do anything. But it's funny and interesting. A book that gets by almost entirely by charm and head of knowledge. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, even if all the facts I learned are pretty useless for an amateur critic.

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Review: A Memory Called Empire

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Bloated and boring. That's what I felt throughout reading this book. It is possible I just wasn't in the mood. Future people, just look at the date of when this review was posted and you'll understand if were awake in history class. Regardless, I didn't care much for Memory or its empire. I didn't 'hate' this book. Hating it would require that it made me feel something. Everything was just grey and drab. It felt as if someone tried to rewrite Dune but left out every nuance that made it a masterpiece.

When I don't care much for a book, it's normally because of bad pacing or nothing happens. This isn't the case. In fact, I would defend it by stating it has excellent pacing. I would even state it's a cool story with cool ideas. It's just told in an insanely boring way. The prose are uninspired and I would need a nuclear reactor to generate any kind of feeling for the characters. I kept squeezing this stone for some blood but got nothing out of it.

There are some books out there I would fault people if they liked it. You know who you are. But this isn't one of them. My opinion of this book is a weird mix of knowing it's far from garbage but also wanting to cut myself while reading it just to feel something. You might like it. Which is good, because we need something to like from time to time.

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