Review: The Tower of the Swallow

The Tower of the Swallow by Andrzej Sapkowski
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Witcher series does a lot of things right and a lot of things wrong. I think this book highlights those traits more than any of the previous volumes. It has a talent for colorful characters and details to cue points of the story. This book in particular is told non-linearly, so those cues become extremely important. But it also bogs the reader down in other details that are nonsensical. There is a point in the story were Geralt meets an elven mage, Avallac'h. They discuss several things involving the surrounding lore of the plot that is very important. Avallac'h also drones on about elvish menstruation and how sex becomes boring after you live over a hundred years. The latter being unlikely.

The writing is just a mixed bag of interesting and not interesting. Ebbs and flows of some times an extreme nature. Being one of the latter books, it holds up better than some of the earlier texts. With the story maintaining more focus simply because it has to do so as it builds towards its conclusion. This volume's largest problem being that we don't see much of an evolution in the writing but instead just more of the story.

I would say the actual written prose are about average. The fight scenes are highly technical to the point you lose some of the emotional impact. The fight at the end though might be its most well written in the series. The dialogue has enough color in it to be interesting but the dives into lore and politics are mostly a matter of taste. Earlier reviews praise the characters and this one will be no exception. Particularly in this volume with Vilgefortz as he emerges as the series' chief villain.

I have been enjoying the books for the most part, it just drags in surprising spots. Maybe its a matter of translation or culture, but I can't help but feel this should have been in the hands of a better editor. A diamond doesn't shine as bright if it remains uncut.

View all my reviews

Review: How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems

How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems by Randall Munroe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The amount of energy it takes to power a heat pump capable of freezing the Kansas River at Topeka is 87 gigawatts. This little factoid stood out to me. One, because it's utterly ridiculous, but also because I think it fully encapsulates what you'll find in this book. Facts framed by the ludicrous. Trying to be smart and funny at the same time. Being successful 93.7% of the time.

Before reading this book, ask yourself one question: Am I a uber nerd? Your enjoyment of this book will largely revolve around the answer to that question. There are plenty of jokes and facts in this novel, but you'll only find it funny or useful if you have a slightly obscure taste. For shits and giggles, Earth's gravity is a downward acceleration at the speed of 9.807 m/s squared. Fun fact, but not particularly useful in day-to-day life unless your job is launching stuff into orbit. Thus your desire typically must be to know this kind of thing just for the sake of knowing it. The humor is also of a similar flair of ridiculous scenarios that are simply ridiculous just because it's funny that way.

There's a section of the book that compares the size of redwood trees to the Saturn 5 rocket. Then, pretty much organically, leads into a scenario of what would happen if you attached a couple of booster rockets to the side and tried to launch the tree into orbit. If this is your brand of humor, then this book should be at the top of your list.

Did I find it funny? Absofuckinglutely.

The writing is strong. Everything is put together nicely. Not terribly long or useful. By the end, you'll probably not learn "How To" do anything. But it's funny and interesting. A book that gets by almost entirely by charm and head of knowledge. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, even if all the facts I learned are pretty useless for an amateur critic.

View all my reviews

Review: A Memory Called Empire

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Bloated and boring. That's what I felt throughout reading this book. It is possible I just wasn't in the mood. Future people, just look at the date of when this review was posted and you'll understand if were awake in history class. Regardless, I didn't care much for Memory or its empire. I didn't 'hate' this book. Hating it would require that it made me feel something. Everything was just grey and drab. It felt as if someone tried to rewrite Dune but left out every nuance that made it a masterpiece.

When I don't care much for a book, it's normally because of bad pacing or nothing happens. This isn't the case. In fact, I would defend it by stating it has excellent pacing. I would even state it's a cool story with cool ideas. It's just told in an insanely boring way. The prose are uninspired and I would need a nuclear reactor to generate any kind of feeling for the characters. I kept squeezing this stone for some blood but got nothing out of it.

There are some books out there I would fault people if they liked it. You know who you are. But this isn't one of them. My opinion of this book is a weird mix of knowing it's far from garbage but also wanting to cut myself while reading it just to feel something. You might like it. Which is good, because we need something to like from time to time.

View all my reviews